Monday, March 21, 2011

Thoughts Of A Zombie Holiday (Part 2)

If you've read Part 1 you know that I'm talking about life after Z-Day. If you haven't then why the hell are you reading my blogs out of order? Go back and read part one you dumb ass. Anyway we've covered when to act, identifying your enemies, and assessing your environment. Today we will continue to go over things that you might not think about until its too late. Knowledge is a crossbow my friends.

Thanks Mark. They have no idea...

Step 4: Discovering Group Dynamics

You've gotten a few essential survival items, you've identified what you're up against, you've even formed a posse. You have found a temporary haven (hopefully) and pooled your resources together. Now it's time to figure out how bad ass your team is. Each person in your group has some sort of job or skill (hopefully) that they've learned at some point in their life and it's time to bare all. Obviously having a team consisting of welders and carpenters would be the absolute shit, but alas these things don't really happen that often. If you're really lucky you might have picked up a rogue police officer or ex marine. The point of getting to know a persons skills is to figure out what job that particular person will have. People with carpentry or welding skills for example will be your chief barricaders and tool makers. Lawyers...lawyers...they...I don't know. I guess use them for food missions or whatever. Use your ex marine/police officer to help the group learn how to shoot and how to defend themselves from other humans. Each person needs a job to do to keep them sane. Nothing keeps the spirits up like having a purpose. Getting to know each individual will also let you know who is dangerous. What I mean by dangerous is someone who is going to get you killed, or under tension might kill you. Weeding out the terrified super model who will freeze up in a tense situation will help your survival odds tremendously.

Unless you're into this sort of thing.

Step 5: Protecting Your New Home

Now that everybody has gotten acquainted with each other, it's time to make the defenses. Sure you got some height to your new living arrangements, even a door with a lock! That wont really save you when there are 50 Zombies all throwing their weight at it. You need to ask your carpenter/ welder (both if you're lucky) where they would go (nearest to your location) if they needed to "build stuff".

"Build Stuff."

If the place hasn't been completely looted out, you can use your group to bring stuff back, obviously while keeping watch for zombies and whatnot. Remember, it's not worth your life. Now that there is no real reason to hurry (other than running for your life) you can take as many days as you want to accomplish things. If your local hardware stores are all depleted there are tons of now empty homes to loot and disassemble for just about anything you need. As far as defenses go, blocking the way in is great for most things as long as you have a way out. Depending on your preferred shelter that could be a window or a second door. Having too many openings is just asking for something to go wrong, so in choosing where you live its best to take that into consideration. Always have a way out. Whether it be a rope ladder or a real ladder, make sure you have a plan and that everyone knows it. One of the things I've always thought about was to literally take over an entire apartment complex. Use cars and buses to block all the roads in while you make real walls behind them, sorta making it a reverse Alcatraz. After that is done, you completely fill in/wall off the entire first and second floor apartments for the whole place. Make platforms across all the rooftops that allow crossing from one to the other, so your group can live on the third and fourth floors. Create your own way of getting to the ground floors and destroy the staircases that were originally there. Now you have your own fortress. Nerd Heaven.

Step 6: Gathering Resources

You have a dedicated place to stay that is relatively Zombie proof. It's now time to procure resources for you and your group so you can survive this awful (and totally awesome) reality. Sure, you can go to your local stores, but those will have been empty since day one. It doesn't mean it isn't worth taking a look at, but don't go expecting much. Either there will be hardly anything there, or there will be some very protective human beings not really in the sharing mood. Your best place to look is the now vacant homes. Just be careful because some Zombie occupants might still be there. Water and other liquid refreshment should take priority over food stuffs, because that will be harder to come by as days go by. Always try the taps in the beginning because there may be residual water (if its been turned off) and there's no reason to pass up a small amount. Books are very important, not just because we need to preserve society, but also because they contain a lot of useful knowledge. Books on carpentry or metal working or survival techniques can compensate for your lack of the people with those skills. Keep an eye out for matches and lighters too, because cooking food and having heat make life easier on a body. Medicine, tools, batteries, flashlights, knives, guns, ammo, and heavy winter clothing are some other things that take priority as well. There's no need to waste energy on anything that runs on electricity because that will be one of the first things to go. If you later procure a generator, all the electronic stuff will be waiting for you to come back and get it.

"It's so damn unfair!!"

Being able to create fire doesn't just allow you to cook food, you can boil your water to rid it of any nasty germs. Sand in a T-Shirt makes a pretty good filter too, so combine the two and you could very well live off of lake or river water depending on the proximity and cleanliness. Obviously if there are any dead bodies in the water, you don't want to drink it. Lakes and Rivers also mean fish and such. There hasn't really been any documented cases of Z-Disease affecting animals, so for all intensive purposes, they should be good to eat. Making a garden in your Apartment Fortress will be a necessary step in staying alive. Believe it or not, seeds are not really on a desperate person's mind when they are trying to survive. Finding them at home and garden stores should be easy because that really isn't the first place people run to. Take all the books on farming and gardening you can find to completely utilize this precious resource. Hell, if you have some time, take the whole damn store. Shovels are multi-purpose tools.


If the cricket bat is at the home and garden shop, grab that too.

Step 7: Make Rules And Follow Them

You have a dedicated group that wants to stay alive. You have a fortress that will ensure that that happens for a good long time. You've found water and have various ways of procuring food. Of course, you also have an arsenal just in case the worst comes to light. The only thing you need now is a set of strong rules. Rules are just like a job. They give a person purpose and give them a routine. Following your rules is just as important as having them. Now that there is no government you don't get fined for disobeying the rules, you get dead. Considering that your life is intertwined with the lives of your group, you don't want anyone to die. You need to set up rules on using resources, and rules for going on resource trips. You need to set up rules in the guarding and care of your fortress. If you find more survivors, they must abide by your rules or leave. Again, having these rules saves lives. If you go outside of the secure fortress, you have to receive a bite check. If you get bitten, you cant come back in. Not even for a moment. Don't waste the safety of others for a Newt. Yes a Newt.

This is Newt.

If it wasn't for Newt, Alien 3 would never have happened. She is the character that always gets other people killed trying to rescue her. Not anymore. People aren't in abundance like in the movies, and every life counts. It's not worth rescuing a little girl surrounded by 70 Zombies. If she followed the rules she wouldn't be in that situation. These heartbreaking decisions are not made lightly, but sometimes more people will die if they aren't made at all. The more people you have, the more rules there will need to be. Eventually there will be someone who thinks you are wrong. This will be another tough decision. Fortunately you don't have to make it. Yet.

Remember! You gotta shoot em in the head!
Thanks for reading.

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