Zach Snyder: Rippin' Off The Big One

In case there are those of you who don't know who Zach Snyder is, he is an American movie director with a few big films under his belt. He recently directed Sucker Punch, Legend Of The Guardians, Watchmen, 300, and a remake of George A. Romero's Dawn Of The Dead. I don't like George one bit, so he is completely resolved of all sin on that one. What does not get a get out of jail free card (also do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars) is the fact that he is an astounding hack.

Hack: 1. A mediocre and disdained writer

           2. An old or over-worked horse.

Of course I never ever judge a director for his writing (unless its a really stupid Indi flick) but take out writer and instead add film maker. Definition two is set aside for Tim Burton.

"Wiiiiiiilllbuuuuur!"

Anyway, "Hack" has many meanings in the media world. Sometimes we mean the literal definitions, and sometimes when we drink beer we mean things like "Cheater" or "Formula Abuser" or "Asshole." I personally thing ol' Zach is a cheater. Don't get me wrong, I couldn't do what he does. He is a master of his craft and it makes him lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of money, something I have yet to attain. His imagination can sometimes produce some pretty cool things. But not all the time. We will start with his first major motion picture, Dawn Of The Dead (2004). DOTD is a remake. That kinda automatically pegs it down a notch on the creativity scale. When you make something that's already been made (with the same name I mean, all movies are remakes of something) there is plenty to copy from. It's kind of like training wheels. It was his first major film, so I will forgive him. It's also saying "Fuck you!" to George, so I commend that too.

It's also, you know, way better.

Then next object of scrutiny is 300. 300 is based off of a graphic novel of the same name written by Frank Miller. A graphic novel (also for those of you who don't know) is like a comic book that's as large as (you guessed it) a novel. "So it's a novel sized book of images?" Yep. "So he made a movie based off a novel sized book of images?" Yep. "Isn't that like, cheating?" Yep. When a director is making a movie, they use a process called storyboarding.

Storyboarding: the process of diagramming the sequence of a film. A typical diagram includes a sketch and description of the scene, along with estimated length, desired audio, and notes for the camera operator.

So whats in a graphic novel?

Well shit. Theres the images desired, the dialogue and even different angles to look at. "So...what? Zach Snyder made a movie that looked almost exactly like what was in the graphic novel?" Yep. Same scenes and everything. I didn't read 300 because I saw the movie (probably another bad thing happening to the novel) but I did flip through it. I recognized every single page I landed on from the movie. And guess what? The movie was about 80% SFX, so he really didn't have to struggle too hard to copy it!

Booooooo....

The same technique was used for The Watchmen, kind of pissing off all sorts of people who were passionate about the graphic novel. Again, I'm not dissing his talent, he's a master at what he does. I appreciate his passion to be as true to the book as possible because that doesn't happen nearly enough in the movies. But being hailed as a one of the great modern filmmakers of our age...well...no. The Legend Of The Guardians was based on a book also, this time with hardly any pictures. It's completely CG soooooo...what exactly did you direct? Only the voice actors? Frowny face. Sucker Punch is the first movie he's written (with someone else) and directed that comes from his own grey matter. Get ready to rock a...PG-13 rating? What? No gratuitous violence? No nudity, no language? You mean to tell me this is just a special effects showcase?

Did you even ask Quentin Tarantino his permission?

Thanks for reading.